The most important thing I learned at the beginning of this whole mess was that you should NOT teach your children "Don't let anyone .... (whatever)." If you do, then when "whatever" happens, they feel like they are at fault for "letting someone...." They are, then, much less likely to report the incident. They think that THEY are going to get in trouble.
Teach them instead: "No one is allowed...." This empowers them to tell the perpetrator, "You are not allowed to do that! I'm gonna tell."
We (now) use the following:
"No one is allowed to touch my private parts, except to keep me healthy, or to keep me clean."
This covers doctors and nurses, and moms/dads/sitters doing normal help with bath time and potty time.
The kids need to understand the "no one" means "not Mom, not Dad, not Aunt Sue, not...."
"No one" means absolutely "No one."
In July 2008, my babysitter called me. She was in tears. My 7yo daughter and her best friend had told her that they were being sexually abused by the best friend's 13yo brother, who was also my daughter's before-school babysitter for most of the last school year. Bottom line: I paid him to spend time alone, in my house, with my daughter. I thought I knew him. If this blog saves one child, I will be thrilled. If you are new to the blog, read the old stuff from the bottom up. It's worth it.
protect your child
2 comments:
Your idea can help empower the child and make "no feel like their right". I also, believe there should be classes availiable for parents as well as for their children.
Shedding light on this type of situation is crucial, especially with what has happened over the past 5 years or so. Noone would ever think that it could happen to them or their family members. To open dialogue the way you suggest is a good idea so that the children will be empowered to tell someone when they are violated and not ashamed.
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